Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Saturday, April 7, 2007
Training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:
1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First
5. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
6. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
7. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
8. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
9. Introduction to Parking
10. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
11. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
12. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have
13. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both
14. TV Remotes: For Men Only
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Saturday, March 17, 2007
No, that's not it
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper, frown and say: "That's not it."
This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier examined.
A military psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged and wrote out his discharge from the army and handed it to the soldier, who picked it up, smiled and said:
"That's it!"
This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier examined.
A military psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged and wrote out his discharge from the army and handed it to the soldier, who picked it up, smiled and said:
"That's it!"
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Beating boredom at the office
If you find it very boring in the office, here are some tips:
1. Form a detective agency to find out who is quitting next.
2. Make blank calls to your Boss.
3. Send mails from outlook to your internet mail (and immediately get on to the internet mail and see who reaches first, you or your mail?) and read them there, and note down the time they take to reach there. Then do vice versa....... ...... !!
4. Rearrange the furniture, i.e. flick someone else's chair eic. just to irritate him/her.
5. Count your fingers (and toes if you still get bored).
6. Watch other people changing their facial ex-pressions while working and try changing your expressions also.
7. Try to stretch status meetings as longer as possible, just by asking silly doubts.
8. Make faces at strangers in office.
9. Have a two hour lunch; it's a big social occasion.
10. Learn to whistle.
11. Revise last week's newspaper.
12. Hold "How fast my computer boots" competitions.
13. Practice aiming the coffee cup into the dustbin.
14. Compile "How to waste your day"
15. Pick up phone and dial non-existing nos.
16. Have work breaks in between tea.
17. Count maximum no of applications your computer can open at time.
18. For Win NT/95 users....move things to the Recycle bin and restore them..then repeat this process.
19. Look at someone & try to imagine how (s)he might have looked when (s)he was 5 years old.
20. Read jokes.
21. And finally, if you are still bored make full use of the comfortable chair and table provided and take a nap.
1. Form a detective agency to find out who is quitting next.
2. Make blank calls to your Boss.
3. Send mails from outlook to your internet mail (and immediately get on to the internet mail and see who reaches first, you or your mail?) and read them there, and note down the time they take to reach there. Then do vice versa....... ...... !!
4. Rearrange the furniture, i.e. flick someone else's chair eic. just to irritate him/her.
5. Count your fingers (and toes if you still get bored).
6. Watch other people changing their facial ex-pressions while working and try changing your expressions also.
7. Try to stretch status meetings as longer as possible, just by asking silly doubts.
8. Make faces at strangers in office.
9. Have a two hour lunch; it's a big social occasion.
10. Learn to whistle.
11. Revise last week's newspaper.
12. Hold "How fast my computer boots" competitions.
13. Practice aiming the coffee cup into the dustbin.
14. Compile "How to waste your day"
15. Pick up phone and dial non-existing nos.
16. Have work breaks in between tea.
17. Count maximum no of applications your computer can open at time.
18. For Win NT/95 users....move things to the Recycle bin and restore them..then repeat this process.
19. Look at someone & try to imagine how (s)he might have looked when (s)he was 5 years old.
20. Read jokes.
21. And finally, if you are still bored make full use of the comfortable chair and table provided and take a nap.
Thursday, March 8, 2007
The God of Death
A man was peacefully sleeping in his home. Suddenly the God of Death appeared before him and said, "Go out and enjoy! Nothing will happen to you for the next 10 years."
He did so and met with an accident and died.
He did so and met with an accident and died.
In heaven, he asked off the God of Death,"Why did you lie to me?"
Came the reply: "Sorry, son. It's appraisal time. I had to achieve the target..."
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Who's dumb?
A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell.
The Game Warden was hot on his heels. After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him.
"Let's see yer fishin' license, Boy!" the Warden gasped. With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.
"Well, son," said the Game Warden, "you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"
"Yes, sir" replied the young guy, "but my friend back there, well, he don't have one."
The Game Warden was hot on his heels. After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him.
"Let's see yer fishin' license, Boy!" the Warden gasped. With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.
"Well, son," said the Game Warden, "you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"
"Yes, sir" replied the young guy, "but my friend back there, well, he don't have one."
Monday, March 5, 2007
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